If you thought 2016 was packed full of liberal foolishness, just wait until you get a load of 2017. As 2016 ends, progressives enter the New Year terrified that Donald Trump will continue to run circles around them, and their epic meltdown is only going to get more epically meltdownier.
They’ve been shrill, stupid, and annoying for the last
two months, but brace yourself for the next 12. Fear is going to make them go
nuts – not the fear that Trump will be a failure, but the gut-wrenching,
mind-numbing fear that Donald Trump will be a success.
And it looks like Trump may very well be one – something
I previously and publicly doubted.
Let’s step back and think about who Trump has shown
himself to be.
Sure, he’s vulgar, and his knowledge of traditional
conservatism is … limited. But he’s a competitor, and if he’s stupid like the
liberals say then what does that make the liberals who Trump keeps beating as
enthusiastically as Josh Marshall tweeting past midnight?
Look, the guy is a property developer. If he does not
deliver what he promises, the buyer won’t take occupancy and he loses money.
Trump knows from his own experience – and the painful
experience of the follow-through-free GOP – that the way to win is to deliver
on his promises. It may ruffle our conservafeathers, but Trump promised to keep
Carrier in the USA and he did it.
As promised, the market is in the stratosphere and
consumer confidence exists again.
Trump promised to nominate conservatives and he did – do
you think that whiny puffball Jeb Bush would have put up a cabinet full of Mad
Dogs and activists aching to burn their own useless agencies to the ground?
People babble on about how “Trump will never do anything
about illegals” and “He’ll never repeal Obamacare.” Yeah, put your money on
Trump failing – I did, and the guy I wrote checks to lost.
News Flash: Donald Trump is not only going dance with the
ones who brung him but afterwards he is going to take them to his limo to make
out.
This guy is interested in trying to please the people who
elected him, not the urban swells who write for or read the NYT or WaPo – he
knows they will never stop loathing him even if he somehow simultaneously cures
cancer, brings world peace, and convinces Coldplay to disband.
No, he’s going to do what he said he will do – and I
expect that when we hear the name of his Supreme Court nominee (Please, for
many reasons, make it Judge Willet!) every conservative in America is going to
seek a cigarette and a cuddle.
The left is going to keep freaking out, and it may take
well beyond the next 12 months for these losers to realize that it’s just not
working, that they have hit bottom yet continued to dig.
Take the whole Russian hacking thing. Hey, I’m certainly
glad that all these Joe McCarthy-come-latelys have finally discovered that the
Russians are bad. It would have been nice if they had realized that back when I
was waiting to die in place in West Germany in the late-80s while these same
jerks were buying into the original Russian political hack: the KGB-inspired
and guided nuclear freeze movement.
Now, the old meme was that us stupid Neanderthals who
don’t shop at Whole Foods (OK, I shop at Whole Foods but my heart is totally at
Kroger’s) are too stupid to know what’s good for us and that we vote for
Republicans because of guns and Jesus.
Of course, liberals don’t realize that normals think guns
and Jesus are two pretty damn good voting criteria.
Anyway, their new theory – as I understand it, because it
seems coherence-challenged – is that the Russians somehow forced us to vote for
Trump by releasing authentic emails that revealed the depths of Democrat
perfidy and the media’s Clinton collaboration.
Basically, the Russians unfairly told us the truth that
Democrats and their media minions wanted to deny us, and that “hacked” the
election.
Oh, and Trump is insufficiently mad about Hillary and
Company not being able to effectively hide their web of corruption and lies
thanks to John Podesta not understanding that you don’t click the link in the
email from the Oil Minister of Nigeria, Crown Prince Goodfellow Scamoscammer.
Now, I bet the discussions in the Michigan union halls
and the Pennsylvania VFWs went something like this:
“You
know Mitch, with the economy so good and America so respected in the world, I
was totally going to support Hillary continuing Obama’s work, but then I found
out that Donna Brazile was feeding her CNN’s debate questions.
“Also,
until Comey reminded me, I had totally forgotten Hillary was under FBI
investigation for doing what would have gotten me sent to Leavenworth if I had
done it when I was in the Navy.
“So,
despite loving all the Democrat policies that have made my life a paradise,
especially the idea of a law allowing grown men in dresses to loiter in my
tween daughter’s restroom, I’m voting for Trump.
“Oh,
also I’m a deplorable racist and hate science.
Also,
sexism.”
Sure, I think the Russians’ truthful revelations of true
stuff that showed the true depth of Democratic corruption in a true way hurt
Hillary. I just think that the left is deluding itself when it tells normal
people that they were somehow suckered by the Russians’ truthful revelations of
true stuff that showed the true depth of Democratic corruption.
“You flyover rubes are so stupid that you can be
manipulated by the facts that we were too incompetent to effectively hide from
you!” is probably not a great way to win hearts and minds, but hey progs, feel
free to go with it.
It’s also hilarious to watch the sputtering rage of the
Vox and Vox-like online lib thought leaders as Trump simply refuses to allow
Obama to sucker him into a distracting fight with Putin. Crimea? Meh? Syria?
Doh-de-doh. Embarrass the Democrats? This means war! America needs to keep the
Bear down with our boot on its throat, but not through fussy fits inspired by
sad feelz.
That Trump laughs at how a creaky ex-superpower is so
relentlessly trolling the feckless Obama – President Faily McWorsethancarter
even makes acting butch seem super femme – draws cries of “Treason!” and
“Traitor!” from the same set who never saw a flag they didn’t want to burn,
mourned Castro, and who know damn well it isn’t them or their gender
indeterminate children who would get to fight and die in the war they seem so
eager to provoke to close out Obama’s pathetic reign.
We can expect more nonsense along these lines. Everything
Trump does will draw howls of anguish. Courageous hashtags like #TheResistance
will spread across Twitter. The traditional media will whine all the way down
as it falls towards irrelevance. And Trump will march on, heedless of his
critics. 2017 has the potential to be awesome.
Obamacare will get a stake through its putrid heart.
The Supreme Court will continue to move rightward.
The prequel to People’s Republic will be unleashed upon
your Kindles.
Yes, in just three weeks, we will embark on a course of
hope and change, despite the best efforts of the left.
They aren’t going to
stop, but they aren’t going to win.
So, if you thought 2016 was full of liberal
stupidity, just wait until you get a load of 2017.
