Dear President Biden:
I'm planning to simply walk
across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I'll need your help to make a
few arrangements.
I plan to skip all the legal
stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle
those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy,
the Mexican President, that I'm on my way down?
Please let him know that I will
be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care.
2. English-speaking government
bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican
government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be
taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need
to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see
the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids
at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican
driver's license so I can get easy access to government services and be able to
vote.
9. I do plan to get a car and
drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably
won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican
police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone,
please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag
from my house top, put US. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic
celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from
the locals.
12. I would also like to have a
nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on
any business I may start.
13. Please have the president
tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical thing
about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food
stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free
rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax
credits so although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the
government.
17. Please arrange it so that
the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot,
please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get
a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request
because we already do all these things for all his
people who come to the U.S. from Mexico .
I am sure that the Mexican
President won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind
help.
Yo, Joe, You Da Man!!
[Author Unknown]
